No Regrets
by KP-X
Summary: [ complete ] Can one really have no regrets while crushing their heart with their own two hands? A deeper look into Terra's thoughts as she betrays the Titans. [ For lovers and haters alike. ]
1. The Betrayal

**No Regrets**

**Author's Note**: Yeah, I know, _another _new story, on top of the four unfinished ones I'm still working on, but I couldn't help it. This idea struck me one day, and I just had to write it. Though I am aware that there aren't very many Terra fans out there, I find I like her because I can relate to her problems and mistakes :x Everyone deserves a second chance. Anywho, this can be for lovers or haters, it doesn't matter- it's just a deeper outlook on what was going through Terra's head when she did what she did. It might even help some Terra-haters to understand her a little more :P though I'm probably being too hopeful. Enjoy the fic, and please review!

(Oh, and please keep in mind that I have not seen these episodes multiple times. If I get something wrong or alter a line in some way, feel free to correct me, but don't be too critical about it.)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Teen Titans, nor do I own any of the storyline that I am about to discuss. I wish I owned Beast Boy, though :D He's so cute.

"My name is Terra, and I have done terrible things."

Chapter One - **The Betrayal**

It was hard to know exactly where she went wrong, but the mistakes were made, and they could not be undone. Everything she did, from her point of view, had been done with the best of intentions, or... well, it had started out that way, at least. Her anger and her need for vengeance was what drove her now. Now, _that_ was who she was. No one could change her back.

Not even _him_.

_It had started out innocent enough, when Slade had offered to teach her to control her powers. Terra had been skeptical at first, but he had promised that he wouldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to do, and she had foolishly believed him. It didn't seem like she was doing anything wrong by accepting his offer, so why not? Perhaps he was evil, but it wasn't as if she was going to help him or anything of the sort._

_In time, he had done what he had promised, and she possessed the full capability of using her powers without running the risk of losing control. She had every intention of ending their association then and there, but something that he had said made her stop in her tracks. "I only want to ask a favor of you, Terra," he'd said. "You owe me that much, don't you agree?" She had to admit, it was only fair for him to want something in return, so she reluctantly agreed._

_"The Titans don't even have to know it was you," he'd claimed, urging her on to carry out the mission. "Besides, they'd be able to protect one another even if I did find their weaknesses, don't you agree?"_

_She was more than reluctant to the idea. In fact, she'd hated it at first, and adamantly refused to have any part in it._

_"Come now, Terra, if they're really the friends that they claim to be, they'll forgive you if you come clean, won't they?"_

_Although, he did seem to have a point. She was just repaying a debt, after all. They'd understand that... wouldn't they?_

_And so she had finally agreed, claiming her promised place within the Titans and giving Slade the information that he wanted. It never occurred to her that Slade's mechanical worms had attacked just after she'd joined the Titans, nor did it dawn on her that she seemed to have just the right amount of power to take them out and save the tower. It was just as shocking a discovery to learn that as it was to find that she had earned even the trust of the withdrawn Raven, and given her own room within the tower._

_She had always planned to come clean with them before it happened, but the opportunity to do so never presented itself. It was only that last night, when she was out of time, that she worked up the courage to tell Beast Boy. If anyone would forgive her, it would be him... right?_

_She had been pondering the best way to bring it up when there was a knock at her door, and she jumped involuntarily. Was her time up already? Had they found her out? She opened the door in a panic, but the profound relief that flooded her when she saw that it was only the green changeling was almost overwhelming. He was fidgeting, shifting his weight from foot to foot and acting nervous. She almost smiled at the cute image and his consistent babbling in front of her, but her expression changed into one of sorrow as he finally got to his point and asked her on a date. She hadn't wanted to refuse him, but she needed time to think about her predicament._

_The disappointment on his face before he made a with a hasty retreat back to his room was almost heart-breaking, and Terra abruptly started as she realized the effect that he had had on her. Was she that attached to him already? Could she really go through with it?_

_It was only a few minutes before she made her decision, and carefully climbed out the window, tapping into her powers to draw a large rock up near her window to stand on. His room happened to be right next to hers, so she didn't have far to go. She giggled at the ridiculous sight of him practicing pick-up lines in front of his mirror, then berating himself for what he had done in front of her a few moments ago. The noise caught his attention, and her heart warmed at the delighted look in his violet eyes and the excited response her offer elicited._

_She took him to all of her favorite places, determined to make the most of her remaining time with him, in case she were to never see him again._

_She had made him promise to remain her friend, no matter what, but she wasn't sure if it would be enough. Evidently, it wasn't._

Terra had no friends now, that she knew- but she also knew that she didn't need any, want any, nor deserve any. Yes, _they_ had tried to convince her otherwise... but she was certain that if the Titans had known the 'real' her from the beginning, they never would have accepted her in the first place. Beast Boy had made that clear enough.

Beast Boy. It seemed that everything she thought about always led back to him. Was he that important? Why wouldn't he get out of her _head_? She knew that itwasn't because of a guilty conscience... after all, he was just as much of a traitor as she was. He'd walked all over her- and what was worse, she had _let_ him.

"Rragh!" A fist slammed into the stone wall of the underground cavern where Slade kept her, sending a large crack shooting upwards from the impact. A few small pebbles fell onto her head and rolled off, dust settling over the blonde sheen of her hair; but she didn't even notice, panting from the exertion and the intense rage that she now harbored.

She hated herself. She hated the Titans. She hated everyone and everything that had a part in making her life miserable- because hate was the only thing that could dull the pain. It was so remarkably easy to let fury replace the emptiness and agony in her heart- to simply give in to her anger and let it consume her from the inside out.

She was a fool to have thought it could be different, for letting him in, allowing him to get under her skin... he was just like all the others. He'd broken his promise without a moment's hesitation, without even a hint of remorse or sorrow.

_"Beast Boy... if I told you about something I've done, something... bad... you'd still be my friend, right?"_ _she'd asked with no small amount of trepidation. She was nervous, sweating and fidgeting,wondering if she'd regret telling him this for the rest of her life._

"NO! Dammit!" she grabbed her head with both gloved hands and shook it violently, as if trying to jar the thoughts and images from her mind. "I don't want to remember! It's done and over with!"

Her desire not to relive the events of that awful night, however, was left unfulfilled.

_"Of course, Terra,"_ _he'd answered, squeezing her hands gently in a false gesture of reassurance._

"BULLSHIT!" she screamed out loud into the darkness, trembling in her fury as the sound echoed off of the cave walls. "I TRUSTED YOU!"

_"Beast Boy..."_ _she'd said tremulously, reaching a shaking hand towards his backturned form. "You promised me that you'd be my friend, no matter what..."_

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed, angry tears forming in her eyes as the hands at her head clenched into fists. Still, the images would not cease to come, taunting her by replaying over and over in her mind.

_"Slade's right. You don't have any friends."_

"YOU PROMISED!" she shrieked, glaring up at the cave ceiling as the first tear fell. "YOU PROMISED ME, AND I BELIEVED YOU!"

_"Slade's right..."_

_She was shaking, praying to God above that this wasn't happening, that it was a nightmare, that he wouldn't actually abandon her like this-_

_"...you don't have any friends."_

_And, at that moment, a small part of the 'real' Terra died, along with any small sliver of hope that she might have held before. It was over._

That promise had meant so much to her, and so very little to him. The harsh realization of the truth had hit her like a ton of bricks. He didn't care. He never had. He'd made a fool out of her.

"You'll regret this..." she ground out under her breath, clenching her jaw so tightly she was sure her teeth would crack and shatter under the immense pressure. "I'll make you pay for what you did to me..."

She didn't even notice Slade standing in the shadows just a few feet away, observing her with a kind of detached interest, nor would she have cared if she did.

"I swear, mark my words... I'll hurt you the way you hurt me, Beast Boy."

The satisfaction of making the promise was enough to calm her fury for the moment, forcing her irregulated breathing back to normal and getting her emotions under control again. The sound of exaggeratedly drawn out clapping drew her attention to her 'master', who was emerging from his hiding place and applauding slowly, almost mockingly.

"Bravo, my apprentice. You've managed to direct your anger towards something productive. I'm impressed," Slade commented in that annoyingly confident manner that Terra was rapidly beginning to loathe.

"Thanks," she grumbled in a 'less-than-grateful' tone.

"Now now, Terra, don't get snippy with me. I'm not the one who abandoned you, after all."

A fresh wave of renewed fury drew over her, nearly a millisecond after the expression of intense pain had left her face- so quickly that even she did not notice it. She resisted the urge to throw a punch at the masked villain, her body shaking with the effort it took to withhold her anger. Gritting her teeth, she directed her cerulean gaze to stare towards the dirt floor instead of Slade.

'_We'll see just who has the last laugh, here..._'

----------------------------------------------------------

"My name is Terra. I have done terrible things."

"And I have absolutely no regrets."


	2. The Annihilation

**No Regrets**

**Author's Note**: Thank you very much for the kind reviews! I really do appreciate my readers' input, and it does really help with my development of the story. Granted, I'm not writing my own storyline here, but the style I use and the details I put in are purely original. It is very encouraging to hear people say that it made them rethink those episodes, or Terra in general. If you did enjoy reading this, please don't hesitate to tell me what you thought of it, good or bad. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Terra or the Teen Titans, or any of the storyline described in this fanfiction. That's right, I _stole _it. What are _you _gonna do about it, hmm?

Chapter Two - **The Annihilation**

"_Destroy the Teen Titans."_

Everything that was still human in Terra screamed out in protest as she accepted her mission. Beneath the thick layer of icy hatred that protected what remained of her battered heart, a voice whispered that this was wrong, this was not what she really wanted. She ignored it with some amount of effort, however, gloved fists clenched tightly at her sides. She'd gone through too much, waited too long for this just to cast it aside.

She was going to make _him_ pay for what he'd done. '_I'll kill them, and that will be the end of it._'

Had she known that Beast Boy, even after what he'd said to her at the abandoned amusement park, was still advocating for her innocence, it may have swayed her enough to let go of her hate. With things as they were now, however, she doubted that even her own voice of reason could have changed her mind. '_I hate them all_,' she thought with growing fury. '_Why should _they_ be allowed the happiness that they denied _me?'

Blaming them and using the situation to heighten her anger eased her inner suffering slightly, made her forget the empty hole that now occupied her chest. The agony of accepting that it had been her own fault and shouldering the guilt on her own was simply too much for her to bear.

They needed to die. Her sanity depended on it.

"Terra, are you even listening to me? We cannot afford to make mistakes," Slade's rough voice cut into her thoughts, and she straightened immediately, hands clasped behind her back as she nodded curtly.

"Yes, sir. Forgive me, I was just enjoying visualizing their heads on a platter," she replied smoothly.

She couldn't tell for sure because of the two-toned mask obscuring most of his face from prying eyes, but she thought she saw a hint of a smile- or, more accurately, an expression of suppressed glee infiltrate the depths of his one visible eye. "Relax, my apprentice, you'll get your chance. We will not fail."

A tiny spark of pride ignited within the confines of her discarded heart, and she lifted her chin to look her 'master' in the eye. In the end, _this_ was where she belonged, she was sure of it. The concept of continually saving a city from its own destruction, only to have it either ignored or thrown back in your face did not appeal to her. The life of a hero was selfless, and Terra knew that she was anything but that.

She wanted to _be_ someone, to leave something behind that would be remembered; be it good or bad. Knowing that she had saved innocent people and done the 'right thing' by _their_ standards was just not enough. _They_, however, seemed to see it as a requirement rather than an act of good will. She couldn't live that way. She wanted more, she _deserved_ more.

"Terra, have you heard all that I have said?" Slade had stopped to focus his fierce one-eyed glare on her. It reminded her vividly of a hawk's preadatory glare towards its prey.

"Yes," she said unflinchingly. It was time to stop dwelling on the past, time to stop wondering what could have or what should have been. Once the Titans were gone, she could finally put her heart to rest and stand as a figure of importance by Slade's side, like she wanted. She was not afraid. "I'm ready."

There was that creepy smile again. "Good, then let's begin."

----------------------------------------------

"STARFIRE!"

A strange sense of grim satisfaction accompanied the sharp jolt of surprise that overtook her when the alien girl had shoved Robin out of the way and taken the hit herself in his stead, disappearing over the edge of the cliff with the oversized boulder. The Titans' leader was no less than horrified, crying her name despairingly as he looked into the water below. She'd always known Starfire had had a soft spot for Robin, but who knew she was this much of a pushover? The girl was a complete doormat when it came to regarding other people.

She conveniently ignored the spreading sense of pain and loss, attempting to take comfort in the fact that one of the five Titans had been elliminated, and she was one step closer to being rid of them forever. She cursed herself for being so soft and weak, dropping to one knee on the rock that hovered over the dark ocean shore where the Tamaranian had fallen. One hand was pressed palm flat on the edge to keep her balance as she looked down to verify that the girl was dead, and nodded to herself when she saw no signs of life.

A heavy sigh heaved from her lungs as the hand closed upon the rock, gripping a fistful of dirt. Whether the sigh was from relief or grief she didn't know herself, but it was most likely a mixture of both. She hadn't wanted things to end like this- had it been under different circumstances, she would have been glad to be the energetic girl's friend. With things as they were, though... she was one of the Titans, and therefore her enemy.

Slowly, the hand grasping the small particles of soil and sand extended past the edge of her platform. Quietly, respectfully, the fist loosened, then opened, letting the mixture sift through her fingers and drop into the water below. '_Goodbye, Starfire._'

The farewell was filled with a mixture of emotions; grief, remorse, smug confidence, relief and satisfaction. She wasn't sure it was possible to feel such a variety of things, but her thoughts offered no condolences as she turned back towards the battlefield and rose to her feet, only to find Robin gone. She wasn't surprised in the least, although the quickness in his willingness to abandon his friend disgusted her to no end. Then again, she had no idea that Star was actually alive, and that he was working hastily to rescue her.

'_It doesn't matter, he'll have to come out and face me sometime. Hide if you want, Bird Boy, but you can't run forever..._'

--------------------------------------------------

One by one, she took down each of the Titans, making sure to rub it in their faces that they had once trusted her, and this was their reward for doing so. They deserved it. Especially _him_.

She stood over the narrow crevace that the explicit use of her powers had created, staring down at the fifth and final Titan. The one she had sworn vengeance on- the one who had hurt her the most. Her hand shook as she held it out over the ravine, the heel of her palm pressed out with the golden-yellow glow of her earth-moving powers.

She couldn't do it.

She'd tried to steel her nerves, to cast aside everything except her mission... but she just couldn't go through with it. She loved him too much.

She was about to move forward, to break down and tell him that she was sorry, to offer her hand and help him out- but she had barely taken her first step when his compassionate violet gaze met her own deep azure. He saw the hesitation there, the sorrow, and must have misunderstood her advancement towards him.

"No, Terra, you can't!"

She froze, her entire body going rigid as he cried out.

That broke the limit of her compassion. Every last square inch of her body was filled with a red haze of blinding rage as her blue orbs hardened and turned to steel. '_How _dare _he?_' Who was _he _to tell her what she could and could not do? Who was _he_, after so shamelessly breaking the promise that had meant the world to her, to tell her that she didn't have the right to choose her own life?

"Watch me," she snarled furiously, tightening the fist at her side as she jerked her extended hand out over the crack, beginning to seal the split in the earth. With the final groan of the two halves crushing themselves together, she dropped to her knees, letting out a cry that was filled with bitterness and hatred. 'He_ did it, not me. _He's _the one who betrayed _me!' She tried to justify her actions, but the heart-wrenching guilt that had settled over her refused to depart.

'_At least it's over. Now I can start to get over this and move on with my life. They're all gone. Forever._'

Why did that thought hurt her so?


	3. The Return

**No Regrets**

**Author's Note**: Woot, I'm on a roll now. Chapter three. I _should_ be working on the stories that I haven't updated in a while, but I really like this one for some reason. Anywho, I might not get the rest of the chapters out as soon as the last one- I had up to chapter three written on paper, but from here on out I'm wingin' it. I hope it turns out okay... I'd really hate to ruin this story, since I like it so much right now. Enjoy chapter three, and please don't forget to review!

**Disclaimer**: Don' sue lil' ol' me! I'm poor! I can barely pay my tuition as it is... erg... -sigh- I don't own the Teen Titans.

Chapter Three - **The Return**

The Titans were gone, and the city now belonged to Slade.

She'd thought it was over.

"Well done, apprentice, you've made me proud."

Slade's scarcely given praise didn't raise her spirits like she'd thought it would, instead only serving to remind her of what she had lost- what she had done with her own two hands.

"Thanks," she mumbled quietly, subconsciously straightening as she was reminded of her 'master's' constant surveillance over her. "Sure is quiet down here since all the people cleared out," she commented idly. The city was barren, deserted, and most of it falling apart.

"Get used to it, my dear, this city is just the first of many."

Inwardly, she cringed. She didn't mind taking over Jump City- the way people here had treated her, they'd had it coming- but just what lengths would Slade go to to take over the other cities? How many more would die at his hands- or worse, her own? Still, she was in too deeply to back out now.

Pausing to observe her surroundings, she started when her eyes were drawn to the abandoned Jump City bank, and a vivid memory came rushing back to her.

_"Stop him!" Robin had yelled, chasing after Mumbo with bird-o-rang in hand, but he hadn't needed to go any farther than that._

_A rather large rock seemed to fall from out of nowhere onto the thief, instantly pinning him to the ground, and the numerous bills he had stolen went flying everywhere. Stopping to observe her handiwork as she ran to join them, Terra grinned as the money floated down to the ground._

_"Yes!" Robin shouted, half-laughing at the same time._

_"Way to go, Terra!" Beast Boy cheered with a pump of his fist._

_Her grin widened before turning into a laugh, and a hand rose to cover her mouth as she did so._

The memory faded slowly as she came back to herself, the marching of Slade's robot drones bringing her attention back to her duty. She shook her head slightly to clear it of the last of the images, slightly surprised at the difficulty in doing so because of her stiff armor. Slade had insisted that it was necessary, but to her it just seemed like a pain in the ass. It was heavy and didn't allow much mobility, and slowed her down significantly in battle.

Another familiar area caught her eye, and as she looked to the small picnic field, she was drawn into another flashback.

_She was mocking boredom as she sat back against the picnic table, letting out an exaggerated sigh as the first of the Titans finally caught up to her._

_"Finally," she drawled, an arrogant grin overtaking her features, "what took you so long?"_

_Anything that they had planned on saying was interrupted when Beast Boy arrived, the last of the bunch as usual, panting as he laid a hand on Terra's shoulder and leaned against her for support._

_Blinking as she felt his weight upon her, she couldn't help but start to laugh, the others joining in with her shortly after._

She jerked again as she realized she had been drifting off into another piece of her past with the Titans, cursing silently. Why couldn't she just be happy that they were gone?

"Sector five is secure," she stated monotonously as she completed her patrol. "Moving on to-"

A sudden explosion made her freeze in place, looking around urgently for the source of the disturbance. The dust that had been jarred from the bomb, or whatever it was, obscured the cause from her view and evidently Slade's as well, since he was demanding into her earpiece what was going on. She ignored him for the moment, focusing on a dark shape moving through the cloud of dust.

She didn't even have time to cry out before the solid metal object collided with her chest, knocking her from her rock and onto the ground. She coughed as she sat up, trying to force the air back into her lungs, but another object, or perhaps the same one, hit her again, this time in the head. She managed to spot the next attack before it hit her, diving out of the way and calling on a large slab of earth to act as a wall for her protection while she stood up.

Regaining her bearings, she spotted a small, now unmoving group of shapes in the dust cloud, and squinted to try to get a better look at her attackers. When the dust cleared enough for her to see them, however, a panicked gasp escaped her throat.

"No... I destroyed you!"

It was _them_.

But how? Why? And why was a part of her so relieved to see them alive? Most of what she felt was fear, although she'd more likely die before admitting it to anyone. Still... she'd fought them before with Slade's help, and only one at a time. Could she really take them all on at once?

She didn't have time to consider her options before the inevitable fight ensued, a powerful black wave of energy knocking her onto her back. She leapt to her feet quickly, but Raven, or any of the others for that matter, were nowhere to be found.

A low growl caught her attention, and the form of an enormous green wolf approached her slowly from the haze.

"Beast Boy!" she cried in a mixture of joy and fear. "A-aren't you even going to talk to me? Beast Boy!"

"There's nothin' left to say," Cyborg said in a low, harsh voice, appearing to her right.

"You attempted to annihilate us," Starfire said as she appeared to the left, her eyes glowing an eerie green as she hovered over the ground. Two dangerous-looking starbolts were forming beneath her hands, and suddenly Terra didn't feel so confident in her abilities.

"Did you think we wouldn't take it personally?" Raven ground out angrily, materializing behind Terra.

She didn't think she could fight them again. What was more, she didn't _want_ to fight them again. She'd barely had enough strength emotionally to do it the first time, and for a while now, she'd thought they were gone.

It was easy enough to kill them when they'd still believed that they could get her back, turn her around and convince her to come back to them. Now... now, they hated her, and she knew it. This time, they would not hesitate to kill her. Even Beast Boy.

Her heart knew what her mind refused to admit.

She was afraid.

A feral snarl caught her attention a second too late as something tackled her from behind and pinned her down, then suddenly alighted from her back and disappeared. She groaned as she brought her hands forward to push herself off the ground, coughing and spitting out a mouthful of dust.

"Get up, Terra! Your neural interface allows me to assist you in battle, but only if you get up and fight!" Slade commanded, sounding more than a little angry. She grumbled something incoherent under her breath, but obediently stood up, jerking her hands forward and emitting the goldish-yellow glow that implied the use of her powers.

A slab of earth broke off and hovered before her, and she stepped on, rising above the cloud so she could see clearly.

No sooner had she risen high enough to gain accurate sight, however, that another object hurled towards her, knocking her from her rock and making her fall the long distance to solid ground.

She landed with a 'thump' and a groan, rolling over and stumbling to her feet. She had to get out of there, or she'd be killed. She couldn't fight them all at once.

She sprinted from the battlefield as fast as she could, taking shelter in an alley and leaning back against the brick wall.

"What do you think you're doing, Terra?" Slade demanded through her earpiece.

"I had to get out of there, I was getting thrashed!" she panted, hand over her chest as she struggled to catch her breath in the alleyway.

"NO!" a fist slammed down onto the desk where the dark villain sat, monitoring the fight from afar. His uncharacteristic display of anger made Terra jump slightly. "I will not permit you to run away, apprentice. You will stay, you will fight, and you will **win**."

'_Goddammit..._' she growled at him in her thoughts, but nonetheless pushed away from the wall to stand out in the open street, awaiting the Titans' pursuit, and possibly her death.

She was immediately knocked backwards onto the hard pavement again, the heat and wind of the explosion from one of Robin's grenades, or whatever the hell they were, blowing dirt and sand into her face. '_Screw this_,' she thought bitterly as she picked herself up again. '_I'm not going to just stand here and die for him._'

With a slight limp now, her pace increased gradually into a run, desperate in her attempt to outrun the small band of teenagers. She cried out as a starbolt hit the ground next to her and caused her to stumble, and took a quick glance behind her, crying out, "Slade, help! I can't do this alone!"

She almost expected him to ignore her, but to her surprise, he spoke almost reassuringly to her. "Dear child, you are never alone," and suddenly there was an explosion of dirt and asphault behind her. She looked in time to see Cinderblock, Plasmus and Overdrive merge into one big and sinfully ugly monster. The newly-formed beast swatted at the pursuing Titans, and Terra didn't waste any more time in hauling ass out of there.

Of course, she hadn't known just how angry Slade was with her unapproved retreat.

"Slade!" she called as she finally allowed herself to slow down, entering the safety of the underground cavern. She'd expected him to be glad to see her alive... relatively uninjured. "I made it... they almost killed me out there..."

Suddenly, unexpectedly, he stood and raised his hand, hitting the back of it across her face before she had time to react or defend herself. She stumbled backwards and fell on her behind, looking at him with a mixture of fear and incredulity as one hand cradled her injured cheek.

"That was nothing," Slade gritted out between what Terra assumed to be clenched teeth, "compared to what I'm going to do to you."

'_I'm such a fool..._'

**Author's Note**: Well, fooey on you all for not leaving me reviews for the last chapter. There shall be one more chapter to this story, then it shall be finished. I've been thinking about writing somewhat of a sequel- where Terra wakes up and deals with the guilt and regret and everything... but I'm not sure yet. Give me your input, please? I'd really appreciate it!


	4. The Redemption

**No Regrets**

**Author's Note**: Okay, the final chapter of 'No Regrets'! As you might have noticed in my note in the previous chapter, I am considering making a sequel, in which Terra would awaken from her stone imprisonment and resume life with the Titans. I have some great ideas for the story development, but since I've gotten so few reviews on this story, I might choose not to bother writing it. If nobody's going to read it, it's not worth going through all the trouble. Once again, I implore you: if you like this story, let me know! I want your opinion! The making of the sequel will depend solely on your responses!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Teen Titans... but then again, neither do you.

Chapter Four - **The Redemption**

A hard steel-toed boot connected with her stomach, sending her flying a few feet backwards as she felt a rib crack. She stifled a groan as she hit the stone wall and slid down until she was laying on her side, breathing heavily and trying not to jar any of the new wounds she carried.

What a fool she was, daring to trust someone with a reputation like Slade's. Not for the first time, she wondered just what the hell she had been thinking when she'd chosen Slade over the Titans. God, how she wished that she could take it back now.

"You disobeyed me, Terra. I told you to destroy the Titans, and you did not. I told you to stay and fight, and you ran. You will pay for your insolence!" his voice echoed through the dark cavern, but she could not tell exactly where it was coming from, her mind in a dizzying haze of pain.

Heavy footsteps of steel against rock signaled his approach towards her prone form, and she hastily forced herself to her feet, finding enough dignity and courage to stand up against him. Wavering slightly on unsteady legs, she used the cavern's wall to support her, leaning most of her weight on it as she recovered from the abrupt and unexpected assault.

"You can't treat me this way!" she cried out indignantly, hands clenching into fists as she regained her balance. She knew the effort was futile now, that she would probably die at his hands... but if she had nothing else, she would at least hold on to her pride.

"On the contrary, my dear, you are mine to do with as I please. No one else would have you, after all." Without warning, another blow was dealt to the side of her head, knocking her lighter form over and skidding across the dirt. He flexed the hand he had hit her with experimentally, almost seeming to be enjoying the sight of her suffering.

She panted as she pushed herself up, fighting back angry tears as she stood again and faced him. "Screw this! I'm done working for you, Slade!" To emphasize her point, she intended to rip off the armor that bore his symbol, the mark that showed that she worked for him; but was shocked to discover that she could barely even move it. She yanked at it again, almost crying out in pain and surprise as she unknowingly pulled at a portion of her flesh.

"You'll find that quite impossible," Slade gloated calmly, and Terra was disgusted to hear that hint of a sadistic smile in his voice again. "The neural interface of that suit has integrated into your nervous system; into your skin."

Disbelievingly, she continued to pull at the armor, yanking at it harshly until she was hard-pressed not to cry out in agony, her skin red and raw from the violent treatment. "You can't control me!" she shouted, a bit desperate in her attempt to declare her independence from him. Much to her horror, he only smiled, this time the expression fully visible within his eye, despite the mask. He pulled out something that resembled a television remote, although she highly doubted it was used for anything similar.

"I'm afraid you're wrong, my dear. You see, you no longer have any choice in the matter."

Before she could even start to wonder just what the hell he meant by that, his thumb moved to press a button on the device in his hand, and suddenly she felt like her body was being jolted by a thousand tiny batteries. She moved forward against her will, letting out a terrified shriek as she realized that she was no longer in control of her own actions. The more she fought it, the more intense the electric shock would become. It hurt like hell.

'_Oh, God..._' She had been prepared to die- after all, she had nothing left... but this was a thousand times worse than any death that she could imagine. She would be forced to be his servant, forced to kill, forced to do anything that he thought of on a whim, perhaps for the rest of her life. She'd much rather have just died then and there.

She fought it with all her strength, trying to disregard the pain that came from doing so. She grunted with the effort, her limbs trembling under the strain applied from both sides.

For all her efforts, it did little more than slow her down in following Slade's commands.

He made her approach him, and when she was close enough again, he swung out with his fist and slugged her across the face with such force that she was sent sailing backwards once more, somersaulting backwards and skidding across the dirt until she hit the wall.

The first tear fell as she hiccuped almost uncontrollably, quivering with the effort it took not to break down into sobs. Her gloved hands dug into the soft soil of the cave floor as she struggled to get up. She had no friends. She had no home. And now, she didn't even have a path to follow. Everything she had dared to believe in was a lie.

'_Oh, God... if there's anyone who can hear me, anyone at all... please, end my life now..._'

Whether it was an answer to her silent prayer or sheer coincidence, she would never know for sure, but it was at that moment when she felt a familiar presence, and lifted her head to see Beast Boy standing next to her, fixing his emerald glare on her form. She had never been more happy to see him, despite the obvious look of hatred and bitter resentment in his eyes.

Accompanied with the anger and loathing in his hues, though, was confusion, and perhaps even a bit of concern as he knelt beside her injured body. "Terra?"

"Destroy me, quick!" she begged him as another tear fell. She didn't even stop to regard the desperation in her voice. He had to kill her, he _had _to, before Slade made her do something that she would regret forever. Not that she didn't already have regrets... but the thought of losing Beast Boy again tore her insides apart in fear.

"What?" he asked in pure confusion and skeptisism, a spark of hope alighting in his heart. He refused to let it show on his face, however- he didn't want to let her knnow that he could be fooled again. Was there a possibility that she didn't want to do this after all? That she hadn't wanted to betray him or the Titans?

Terra could see the hesitation and distrust on his face, and abruptly became angry in his lack of action.

"That's what you came for, isn't it? Do it!" she shouted, more hot tears streaking down her face. He was just doing this, prolonging this to torture her some more... not that she blamed him, she did deserve it, but right now, all she wanted was just for the pain to end.

No matter how hard he had tried to convince himself to hate her, Beast Boy couldn't help the wrenching of his heart at the sight of her tears. He wasn't sure he could have destroyed her to begin with, much less now, in the face of her apparent sorrow and regret. Whirling to face Slade, he snarled violently, "What have you done to her!"

"Nothing she didn't want me to," he answered stoically. Terra growled low in her throat at that, obviously denying his answer. He turned his head to look at her as he continued, "She came to me seeking control, and that's exactly what I gave her. My control, her powers." He held out his hand, closing it into a fist as Terra stumbled to her feet again. Both her hands and his first began to glow that yellow-gold light simultaneously as he directed her powers towards the changeling, and she was barely aware of her own voice yelling, "NO!" as Beast Boy was slammed into the ground by a large boulder.

Why? Why hadn't he destroyed her when he'd had the chance? Why was he still fighting with the belief that somehow Slade was at fault? _Why? _Now he was going to die for it, for believing in her, and it was all her fault.

He kept attacking, and Slade kept relentlessly stopping his attacks before they reached their target. Within a matter of minutes, Beast Boy was pinned under a rock, and Terra was crying out in her head, desperate to stop her body's actions.

"Terra... no..." he said quietly as she approached, one hand outstretched to finish the job.

"It's too late. I don't have a choice, he's too powerful..." she confessed in shame, directing her eyes to look anywhere but at him.

"That's a lie! You've always had a choice!" he shouted suddenly. "You _chose _to betray us, you _chose _to go to Slade, and now you're choosing to let him control you! Slade isn't doing this, Terra, _you _are!"

She wanted to scream at him that he was wrong, that she'd never had a choice, that it was never her fault... but it was. It was time to let go of the lies that she had built the foundation of her life on, let it be washed away and face the truth. She let the dam that had been holding back the river of guilt break free, and acknowledged his words. She had chosen to leave him. She had chosen to go to Slade. She had chosen this miserable excuse for a life, and now she was going to choose how it ended.

"It's never too late to change, Terra," he said quietly, green eyes pleading for her to understand.

"Terra, destroy him," Slade commanded. Again, against her will, a rock was lifted from the cave floor and shaped into a spear, pointed directly at the green changeling.

It was at that moment when the other Titans burst in, and in an instant, all of their weapons were trained on her.

"Don't do it!" Cyborg warned, shaking his head in obvious disapproval.

"It'll be the last thing you ever do," Raven snarled, both hands extended to unleash her power the second it was needed.

"Terra, I gave you an order," Slade roared.

As her gaze met Beast Boy's, for the first time, she understood. The life that he had chosen wasn't selfless because he chose to be a hero, it was selfless because he chose _not_ to be. The Titans didn't rescue the town for self-gratification or thankfulness from its citizens, to get medals or awards of honor from the mayor, they did it because it was what they were born to do, and they knew it- through and through. They didn't consider themselves heroes, they just considered themselves as people. _That _was the life she had truly belonged in. That was where she _should_ have stayed.

She understood, finally.

"I'm sorry, Beast Boy, for everything that I've done," she said in a low voice. Words could simply not express her regret, her sorrow and remorse for the mistakes she'd made, she could only do this one final act for the people that she loved, for the people that _deserved _to be saved.

With a loud battle cry, she swung her arm towards Slade, directing the spear-shaped rock to sail towards him. He deflected it, but not without obvious difficulty, and he lacked the same calmness and ease that he normally portrayed.

"You little brat! What do you think you're doing?" he yelled, shielding himself from the various rocks and stones that Terra hurled at him.

"You can't control me _any__**more**_!" she yelled, willing Beast Boy and the Titans to hurry and get out of there. She knew what she was doing was dangerous, but _she_, as well as Slade, were too dangerous to be left alive. She understood that now, like so many other things that were becoming clear to her.

She wondered if all people felt this way before death, as if they suddenly understood the world and its purpose, and were fully willing to let it lead its course, or if it was just her.

A distant rumbling started to echo through the cave, and the ground began to quake beneath their feet. She heard Robin yell something about her powers triggering the volcano, and willed them to escape safely. With one more loud cry, she slammed a burst of energy into Slade, hard enough to knock him off his feet and into the dangerous lava pit beginning to form below.

A strange sense of peace filled her, a certain contentment that she now knew must come from being what they were, and doing what they did. She had ruined her chance at becoming one... but they would live, and for that, she was glad.

"C'mon, Terra, we've gotta go!" Beast Boy tugged at her arm urgently, and her heart ached to see that he still cared for her so. For what seemed like the hundreth time, she berated herself inwardly, reminding her that she didn't deserve his kindness.

"I have to stay," she said quietly.

"...Wha?" she heard him stutter confusedly.

"I'm the only one who can stop it," she explained, wishing he would understand and giving him a pleading look. '_Don't try to stop me, please... I need to do this. For you... and for me._'

"No, Terra, you can't! It's too late!"

She smiled sadly, repeating his own words back to him. "It's never too late." And she finally allowed the tears of regret, guilt and sorrow flow down her face, stepping forward to hug him about the waist. "You're the best friend I've ever had," she whispered tremulously. '_Take care of yourself..._' She felt him return the gentle embrace, and pulled back to see him looking at her worriedly, care and concern that she once again realized she didn't deserve shining in his emerald depths. She smiled in reassurance as she directed the rock he was standing on towards the cave's exit, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw Cyborg grab him, and the two of them run out of the cave.

He would never truly know how she felt about him, but she couldn't bear the thought of saddling him with the guilt that would come by telling him the truth. He would go on not knowing, and not shouldering the burden that she knew was her responsibility to carry alone. '_I love you..._'

Standing straight, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the feeling of peace wash over her soul. '_This is where I belong._' She spread her arms, calling upon the first of her powers as the rumbling sound increased, the quaking growing in intensity.

A shrill battle cry echoed throughout the cavern before everything became silent again, leaving the immobile statue of what had once been a young girl, standing with arms outstretched as she sacrificed what remained of her life to save her friends. Though her life had been short and unhappy, she was at peace when her life was halted, and knew her true place among what had been a hateful world to her.

The sad story of the young girl would never be forgotten. She was gifted and cursed with an awesome power, one that both ruined and brightened her life. She'd made mistakes, and she'd regretted them, like any other human being. To this day, the boy she loved continues to visit her, to put flowers in front of her stone prison, blissfully unaware of her final thoughts and sorrows.

A small plaque now rests in front of her feet, something inscribed into the silver plate- something that would have completed her life, had she been alive to see it.

**Terra**

A Teen Titan

A True Friend

Her name was Terra. She was gifted with tremendous power, and cursed with it as well. She did terrible things, but redeemed her name in a final act of selflessness. Now, she is a memory, and one that will be honored and missed. She left behind the legacy that was all she had ever wanted, and her friends would ensure that she would be remembered forever.

She was home.


End file.
